After 8 years, I've realized that I don't really like jiu jitsu. This may sound strange considering I still train twice a week, every week.
Jiu jitsu was, at first, something that helped me remove that chip on my shoulder. It proved my manliness (or so I believed.) Indeed, the irony of getting smashed by people of all sizes and ages to prove I "could defend myself" isn't lost on me. Over time I realized, I am not, nor will I ever be, particularly good at fighting. I have come to accept that I am not the manliest of all men.
Jiu jitsu is a boulder demanding to be pushed up the mountain. Upon finishing that task, you return—mortified—that it's returned to its original resting place at the foot of the mountain, fresh; appearing to never have moved at all. Jiu jitsu is frustrating. It causes injuries. It's painful. But it is necessary.
Left to my own devices, I am an unfaithful man. Committing to a cause is easy as long as it pays me back in some way. But what about those noble causes which do not pay you back in anything but the honing of your soul? What of those necessary sufferings that the righteous must endure?
What sort of man abandons his noble cause when presented with discomfort? What sort of character is implicated in those who value convenience above all?
Faithlessness has its own price to pay, and it is worse than the wages of commitment.
Jiu jitsu is a cheap way to practice persistence without pleasure. So despite not particularly enjoying jiu jitsu as much these days, I still train. I will keep training, so I can prove myself as someone who hates the hour, yet keeps it.